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Dois amigos andando no supemercado e se trombaram, um
deles falou:

- E ai, cara? O que você esttá fazendo aqui?

- Estou procurando minha mulher. E você?

- Que coincidência! Também estou procurando a minha
mulher. Como é a sua mulher?

- É alta, bonita, gostosa, coxuda, peituda e bunduda.
E a sua?

- Esquece! Vamos procurar a sua!

A mulher cai de um prédio encima de um cachorro.
Qual é o nome do filme?

"Sento em um dálmata".

A mulher quer suicidar-se e pula de um prédio,
caindo "de bunda" em cima de outra pessoa e a mata.
Qual é o nome do filme?

"A cusada de morte".

Dois bêbados saindo do bar:
- Onde é que você mora?- pergunta o primeiro.
- Eu moro aqui na rua ao lado...
- Eu também! Então, vamos juntos!
Abraçados, os dois vão cambaleando pela rua, até que param diante de uma casa:
- Eu vou ficando por aqui... - diz o mais velho. - Obrigado pela companhia!
- Você está brincando, né? Quem mora aqui sou eu!
- Você? Está maluco, cara?! Essa casa é minha! Faz anos que moro aqui!
- Eu moro aqui desde que nasci! - declara o outro.
Nisso, aparece uma mulher na porta:
- Assim não é possível! - brada ela, nervosa. - Pai e filho, bêbados, discutindo de novo!

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    Zézinho vai fazê compra na vendinha do seu João
    e pede: quero um kilo de sar e paper prá limpa a bunda! E entrega a caderneta para anotação.
    Seu João fica nervoso e diz:
    Não fala paper prá limpá a bunda que é feio seu
    moleque. Fala paper higiênico.
    E o menino responde : uai sô, que palavra dificir!
    E assim toda semana Zézinho vai fazer compra e
    sempre pede paper prá limpa bunda.E o seu João só
    fica nervoso.
    Num certo dia, a vendinha está cheia de freguêses,
    e o seu João viu o Zézinho entrando e ficou muito
    preocupado.Vai espanta minha freguesia, pensou.
    E o Zezinho pede:-seu João, quero paper higienico.
    Ufa! Seu João ficou aliviado, afinal aprendeu.
    Mas como Zézinho não apresentou a caderneta, seu
    João perguntou: É prá marcá na conta?
    Zézinho respondeu: Né não sô, é prá limpá bunda !

    p:um robô gay entrou num bar e roubou tres copos qual era o nome do filme?

    r:robo copo gay(robocop gay)

    Uma senhora entrou em uma avicultura e viu um papagaio
    com uma correntinha em cada pé.

    Muito curiosa, chamou o balconista e foi logo
    perguntando:

    - Ei, moço qual a função das duas correntinhas do pé
    do papagaio?

    O balconista respondeu:

    - Quando eu puxo a da direita, êle me diz bom dia, e
    quando eu puxo a da esquerda, êle me diz boa tarde.

    Então a senhora perguntou:

    - E se eu puchar as duas ao mesmo tempo?

    E o papagáio, já puto da vida, respondeu:

    -AI, EU CAIO NÉ SUA FILHA DA P!!!!!

    Uma professorinha que era muito legal, sempre levava
    um aluninho para posar na sua casa, o daquela semana
    foi o Joãozinho.

    Os dois dormiam em quartos separados, derrepente
    o Joãozinho aparece no quarto da professora e diz:
    _Professora, posso dormir com você?Eu não gosto de
    dormir sozinho...
    _Pode, deita aqui logo e vê se não enche o saco.

    Se passa mais um tempo e ele pergunta:
    _Profa, posso tirar minha camisetinha?
    _Piá, faça oq quiser, mas me deixa dormir!!!
    Se passa outro tempinho e ele pergunta:
    _Pissora, posso tirar minha cuequinha?
    Ela já com a passiência esgotada diz:
    _Ãhã.......
    _Profa, posso enfiar meu didinho no seu umbiguinho?
    _Pode...
    _espera aí menino, esse não é o meu umbiguinho!
    _Não esquenta, esse também não é o meu dedinho...

    Todos os dias, Joaozinho ficava de castigo apos as aulas por ser um menino levado.

    Devido sua convivencia constante com sua professora fez com que a ela se interresasse por ele.

    Certo dia ela o abordou Joaozinho e disse:
    - Esta de castigo.Ficara aqui comigo depois da aula.

    Joaozinho nao contestou.Apos a saida dos alunos a professora fechou a porta e disse com um ar sensual:

    - Joaozinho bora fazer besteira.

    Joaozinho respondeu:

    - Bora fessora, bora cagar nas carteiras.