Piadas de Esporte

Piadas de Esporte - as melhores piadas de esporte do piadas.com.br

Na época do GP da Alemanha de Fórmula 1, o Rubens Barrichello prometeu dançar moonwalker se ele fosse ao pódio, para homenagear Michael Jackson.
Nada mais propício pois Andar para atrás é com o Barrichello mesmo

Num badalado e gigantesco açougue de São Paulo, chega de repente uma exuberante Ferrari vermelha.
Dela sai um São-paulino que chega para o açougueiro e diz:
- O Sr. tem picanha?

- Tenho sim - responde o açougueiro.

- Corte para mim dez peças - diz o são paulino, pagando imediatamente com notas de 100 dólares e saindo logo após.

Passados dez minutos, chega uma BMW.
Dela sai um palmeirense, que chega para o açougueiro e diz:
- O Sr. tem alcatra?

- Tenho sim - responde o açougueiro, sorridente pela última venda.

- Corte 25 quilos - pede o palmeirense, que recebe e paga com cartão de crédito Platinum, e vai embora logo em seguida.

Logo depois o açougueiro recebe um santista em uma Mercedes.
- O sr. tem filé mignon?

- Tenho sim - responde o contente açougueiro...

- O Sr. corte 30 quilos, por favor - diz o santista, que
paga a mercadoria com notas de 100 reais, saindo logo após.

De repente, chega um Corcel.
Bem velho e todo enferrujado, com um adesivo escrito "XIKI NU ÚRTIMO" numa lateral, outro no pára-brisa, "É NÓIS NA FITA, MANO!!!" e, por último, um pegando o vidro traseiro inteiro, "É DEUS NO CÉU E NÓIS NO CORCEL", de onde sai um brutamontes com a camiseta e o gorrinho do Corinthians, que diz para o açougueiro:
- E aí mano, cê tem braço?

- Tenho sim - responde o açougueiro.

- Então bota eles pra cima que é uma assarto, tá ligado?

Pelé visitando seu "grande amigo" Maradona, ele tem a curiosidade de fazer uma pergunta:
-Maradona, por que na Argentina não dá pra ver o Sol?
O argentino com frieza responde:
-Ora, porque aqui temos "Bois nos Ares"

Numa bela manhã de sol no Rio de Janeiro, dois passarinhos estavam num galho olhando para o avião cujo Obina Ex-Atacante do Flamengo se encaminhava para São Paulo, para jogar no Palmeiras;
Na conversa um dos passarinhos pergunta para o outro:
-João, porque o Obina foi pra São Paulo no avião da TAM?
-Num sei, por que?
-Porque se ele fosse no avião da GOL ele perderia!

Libertadores !!!

Era o início da década de 60, quando se deu este interessante episódio :

O Presidente do Santos marca uma reunião com Deus.

Chegando lá, ele pergunta:

- Senhor Deus, eu gostaria de saber se o Santos será Campeão da
Libertadores ?

Deus consulta seu livro - flap, flap flap (páginas do livro de Deus)
- e diz:

- Sim, o Santos será Campeão da Libertadores, ainda na sua gestão. E duas
vezes...

O Presidente do São Paulo, curioso, também marca uma reunião com Deus:

- Senhor Deus, e o São Paulo, será Campeão da Libertadores ?

Deus consulta seu livro - flap, flap, flap, flap, - e diz:

- Será sim, o São Paulo será Campeão da Libertadores várias vezes,

mas não na sua gestão.

O Presidente do Flamengo também marca uma reunião com Deus.

- Senhor Deus, e o Flamengo, será Campeão da Libertadores ?

Deus consulta seu livro - flap,flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,flap, flap - e diz:

- Será sim, o Flamengo será Campeão da Libertadores, mas não na sua

gestão, nem na do próximo presidente.

O Presidente do Palmeiras também marca uma reunião com Deus.

- Senhor Deus, e o Verdão, será Campeão da Libertadores ?

Deus consulta seu livro - flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap - e diz:

- Será sim, o Palmeiras será Campeão da Libertadores, mas não na sua

gestão, nem na do próximo presidente.

O Presidente do Corinthians também marca a tal reunião com Deus.

- E o Coringão, será Campeão da Libertadores ?

Deus consulta seu livro e ... - flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

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flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap

e Deus pensa: 'eita que não acaba...' e tome flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

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flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap

e Deus disse: - ACHEI! Ah não, é engano. - e continua... flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

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flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap

- Achei !!! - grita Deus - Está aqui. É em 2210.

- Não, não. Desculpe-me. Aqui é o corinthians de alagoas que

conquista a libertadores. - e prosseguiu ... flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

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flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap

São Jorge que acompanhava de perto, já extremamente irritado, pegou o

livro das mãos do todo poderoso e continuou ... flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

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flap, flap, flap, flap

E Deus retomou a procura... flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

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flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap

- Não achei. Peraí que vou consultar em outros Planetas - e tome

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, , flap, flap,

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flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap

O presidente do corinthians empolgado e incentivando Deus, comenta -

NÃO PÁRA! NÃO PÁRA! NÃO PÁRA! .. flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap

E Deus finaliza... - Será sim, o Corinthians será Campeão da

Libertadores, mas não na MINHA gestão !!!

Certo dia um homem resolveu ligar para a dirigencia do vasco ele ligou
Tiriririm tiriririm ai o dirigente atendeu o homem fala
__Alô é do Vasco xi Caiu